Meditation, Mindfulness

The Galvanising Gift Of Noticing Thoughts

Noticing thoughts.
The galvanizing gift of noticing thoughts.

I’ve always loved making people laugh. Accompanied by a smile family photos suggest was equally chubby and charming, from a young age I also knew how to milk a joke for all its worth. Over the years my dad, who is equally fond of making people laugh and milking jokes (sorry dad!), has passed on some of his favourite quips. Imagine my delight upon inheriting this gem:

If you notice this notice, you’ll notice this notice isn’t worth noticing.

I’d revel in the joy of sharing this deceptively empty sentence. Like Bristol’s Primary School Pied Piper, instead of using musical notes to catch rats, I’d use written notes to catch laughter. I’d scribble anywhere I’d expect someone to look: notepads, walls, post-its, school desks, chalkboards. I was having a riot, tricking people into noticing the notice while gazing expectantly for their knee-slapping reaction.

See, it’s only when you notice the notice, that you notice… the notice isn’t worth noticing. But how are you to know the notice isn’t worth noticing until you notice it? The answer is, you don’t. You have to notice the notice to make that realisation.

Fear not. The purpose of this article isn’t to dissect a gag I bored of almost two decades ago, or break the world record for the use of the word notice in various forms in one article (86 times). I resuscitate this gag because it’s a fitting analogy for the paradox of mindful thinking.

Simply Noticing

Avoid attachment. Don’t judge. Accept. Be present. Don’t identify with thought. Don’t react to emotions. Let go. There are numerous ways to explain desirable traits of a skilled mind; many I use in MindThatEgo articles.

To some extent, the rise of meditation and mindfulness in the West has been underpinned by a complexity. We may enquire whether meditation helps reduce anxiety, increases focus, shift depression, increase the quality of our sleep, helps us switch off. Indeed it can help with all of the above. But the more we analyse and intellectually try to understand, the more we can deceive ourselves into believing meditation is complex, when really, it’s simple.

It’s as simple as noticing.

If You Notice This Thought, You’ll Notice…

“Awareness is the greatest alchemy there is. Just go on becoming more and more aware, and you will find your life changing for the better in every possible dimension. It will bring great fulfillment.” — Osho

Awareness is self-healing. This may not be apparent immediately. But if you take responsibility for your inner-world, the moment you become aware of troubling thoughts, emotions or sensations is the moment change begins. Awareness is noticing. That’s it. Notice thoughts as they arise; the voice of the self-critic, visual fantasies or nightmares, repetitive ruminations, flashbacks.

The more you notice thoughts, the more you piece together the bigger picture. If you’re prone to depression, you may notice the critical voice weaving all sorts of sad stories. You’re stupid. You’re unlovable. You’re annoying. You’re too much. You’re not enough. You may notice these cycles of self-talk spark strong emotions, thoughts and feelings feeding off each other as black clouds obscure the blue sky.

Cultivating The Ability To Notice

Noticing simultaneously allows you to witness the chaotic nature of mind while separating you from said chaos. Without noticing, it’s easy to assume there’s no separation between you and your thoughts. Awareness creates space — the essence of mindfulness. For example, let’s say I’m talking to someone I respect. Mid-way through the conversation, I’m struck by an involuntary, paralysing thought from the self-critic:

 Jeeez, Ricky. You’re boring them and you sound stupid. Shut up already.

Long before I’d started meditating, I had a strong association with such thoughts. I saw them as truth, with no separation between what I was thinking inside and external events. The result was an immediate, overwhelming emotion — severe anxiety, often panic. I’d believe the thought to be true and find a way to end the conversation to save the poor soul I was talking to.

With mindfulness, we cultivate the ability to notice. That’s it. In noticing I notice the thought isn’t worth noticing. I see it clearly. It loses its power, the emotional reaction is reduced. Consequently, it’s easier for me to return attention to the conversation instead of zoning out and honing in on the unpleasant thoughts and feelings.

A skilled noticer knows how to dismiss cognitive junk, simultaneously developing the ability to know which thoughts are worth noticing.

Noticing Is The First Step

“Surrender comes when you no longer ask, ‘Why is this happening to me?'” — Eckhart Tolle, Stillness Speaks

Closing our eyes and turning attention to the breath leads to the  powerful realisation avoiding distraction by thoughts, emotions or sensations is incredibly difficult. Sit for long enough, and I’m sure each of us develops a newfound respect for noticing. We realise our default setting is not noticing the notice. If you’re beginning meditation, noticing is all that’s necessary to kick start your journey — it truly is a galvanising gift.

If you notice this notice…

I’d like to introduce two qualities beneficial to the noticing process: curiosity and playfulness. Curiosity cultivates fascination with the nature of mind. Playfulness nudges you away from judgement and resistance — these thoughts are bad, I don’t want these thoughts — towards accepting the emotional and cognitive landscape as it is, without needing to control it.

Judging What You Notice

Once you find your flow, you’ll notice noticing without additional inner commentary is extremely difficult. Ha! Often the eagerness to calm down, find inner-peace and silence the mind can lead to a new influx of thought when we are distracted; this happens to the most seasoned meditator.

This is the trap door of judgement. Here are some in-the-moment judgements I’ve had during meditation over the years:

  • “Why am I shit at meditating?”
  • “Jesus! Where did that thought come from?”
  • “I’m weird. I’m definitely weird. Meditation has just helped me realise I’m really weird.”
  • “Why am I thinking about a 30-second social situation from 2003?”
  • “If I itch my back does that mean I’ve failed at meditation? Monks don’t itch do they?”… itches back… “You’re a failure Ricky.”
  • “Why am I not relaxed? Why do I sense tension and stress? This isn’t working. I should be calm now.”
  • “Pervert.”

There are many, many different shapes, sizes, and textures to thought. It’s important we maintain a curious and playful approach to all thoughts we are able to notice, including the above judgements. This is important because we can never out-think thinking. Try it — it’ll only create layer upon layer of thought, possibly leading to thoughts such as: I’m a bad person for judging my thoughts!

However, simply noticing detaches us from thinking in its entirety.

When The Notice Is Worth Noticing

Just eight weeks of mindful meditation can shrink the amygdala, the brain’s “fight or flight” centre. In addition to improving wellbeing by reducing anxiety and depression, a skilled noticer lays the foundation for immense personal and spiritual growth. That’s because self-awareness increases as noticing becomes more frequent, even habitual. All of the profound changes I’ve experienced through mindfulness, meditation and self-discovery started with noticing.

Noticing when anger arises. Noticing when I feel threatened. Noticing when I feel vulnerable. Noticing when I’m appropriately vulnerable and trying to hide it. Noticing when I’m seeking approval. Noticing when I’m seeking validation. Noticing when I’m judging others. Noticing when I’m judging others for judging others. Noticing when I’m acting outside of my values to fit in. Noticing when I’m acting outside of my values to stand out.

Noticing Can Break Self-Sabotaging Habits

One of the biggest changes — reducing my need for validation through romantic relationships — was sparked when I noticed this behavioural pattern. I noticed how I’d place my emotional wellbeing in the hands of a lover. I noticed how I was handing responsibility of the ensuing despair, anxiety, stress, fragility, restlessness, value, you-name-it to someone else.

Noticing allowed me to observe this process. This is a notice worth noticing.

Sometimes it can seem we engage in behaviour, even when we notice the behaviour isn’t good for us. But that doesn’t mean this is an example of noticing not working. Generally we’re acknowledging the outcome, not the cause. Noticing occurs in the moment; when we cultivate the skill, we notice the thought patterns and emotions causing self-sabotaging behaviour.

Science backs this up. Mindfulness-based cognitive therapy is proven to match antidepressants in reducing relapse in those experiencing depression.

An Exercise In Noticing

Blazing the shining light of awareness on such inner-dialogue can have a huge impact. Consider the following exercise for the next few days: Try to notice thoughts. Nothing more, nothing less. Celebrate each time you notice a thought, and notice if any judgement or resistance accompanies the thought.

After a few days, consider how noticing without judgement has made a difference. Are you noticing quicker or more frequently? Do you experience more space between you and your thoughts? Let me know your experience in the comments.

Maintain a mindset of curiosity and playfulness, and simply noticing can become your superpower, an unsuspecting gift leading to significant change.

If you notice this notice, you’ll notice this notice is worth noticing.

One last thing… did you laugh?


Conquer The World… But First, Brush Your Teeth

brush your teeth
A Mindfulness Metaphor: But First, Brush Your Teeth

Wide-eyed and loose-tongued, the other evening I was excitedly telling my partner, Ellen, of the myriad of ideas running through my mind. It was late, time for bed, but here I was hovering and conversing en route to the bathroom, anchored by my stream of consciousness. Ellen — who I was now depriving of sleep — listened attentively, her assuring smile a sign of her enduring patience. As one idea sprang to the next, and the next, and the next, I stopped myself. Equally amused and supportive of my late-night ramblings, Ellen astutely bookended our conversation: “But first, brush your teeth.”

But first, brush your teeth. A simple sentence that is deceptively nuanced, containing heaps of wisdom. Because sometimes we may get caught up in ideas of how we can conquer the world in our individual ways, and our minds may float away and join the stars. But it’s just as important to focus our undivided attention on what we have to do in that moment. The first step, the next step. This step. Brushing your teeth.

Brush Your Teeth: A Metaphor for Mindfulness

Maybe we aren’t caught up in conquering the world, but instead wrapped up and overwhelmed by all the things we have to do. Our minds race and heart rates elevate as we attempt to break down the beast, not knowing where to start, paralysed by upcoming. The beauty is there’s always some form of teeth brushing we have to do. There’s always that first step, a task in the moment, that we can devote our full attention to.

In A New Earth, Eckhart Tolle laments:

“Most people treat the present moment as if it were an obstacle that they need to overcome. Since the present moment is Life itself, it is an insane way to live.”

The insanity is always focusing on conquering the world and not paying attention to teeth brushing. Because as Tolle rightly explains, the present moment is Life itself. Although fantasies about how our futures may unfold are intoxicating, and easy to indulge in, we have to find the balance between dreaming, conceptualising, and taking action. Before we can conquer, we have to start somewhere, and the only place to start is with what’s right in front of us. Brushing our teeth.

Each time we brush our teeth, we may face different challenges. Sometimes we won’t want to. Sometimes it’ll be challenging. But the way we brush our teeth can have a significant impact on how we experience our day-to-day, in how we enjoy the process and the unfolding of life. Will you brush your teeth while paying attention to fantasy? Will you brush in haste, eager to get the brushing out of the way to focus on something seemingly more important?

Maybe sometimes brushing our teeth is waiting in line, going to the shop, grafting in a job we don’t fully enjoy, tackling life’s challenges with no immediate, obvious payoff. If we can learn to fully engage with the process of brushing our teeth — with the action we are doing in this very moment — our entire lives will transform. Teeth brushing in itself will become a pleasure, perhaps more engaging than fantasy. We’ll slow down, pay attention. And, here’s the secret… once we enjoy the process, we may even begin to floss.

We can each conquer the world in our own unique way. But first, we have to brush our teeth.


3 Mindful Exercises To Make Daily Chores Enjoyable

There’s immense power in living mindfully. Though mindfulness has become a buzzword in recent years, the basic practice of being completely, utterly focused on the present moment produces huge benefits. The mind — and all the belief systems and thoughts that come with it — clouds our experience. It likes to label things, to transform experience into concepts. Work. Play. Boring. Fun. Like. Don’t like.

What you experience is then filtered through the mind’s labelling system. If something’s labelled boring, it becomes boring. By applying mindfulness, you experience life beyond that labelling system. Everything just is the way it is.

Which leads me on to today’s post, which focuses on boredom, monotony, or any other label that has the same effect. I highlight boredom because it’s an interesting feeling. It’s not as intrusive as unpleasantness, but it’s a low-level, apathetic state that can suck the joy out of certain activities. Plus, being mindful when walking in the sunshine with your significant other while on holiday in an exotic location is much easier than being mindful taking out the bin. Especially when the bag splits. Yuck.

Washing dishes can be a mindful process.

By applying mindfulness to “boring” tasks, I’ll hopefully highlight the benefit of practicing present moment awareness. With that in mind, below are three mindful exercises I’d like you to try. I’ve chosen these three activities because they’re the kind we generally undertake on autopilot. We like to get them “out of the way.” But remember, any moment spent wanting to get out of the way, or to move beyond, is a moment wasted. So, on we go…

Mindful Exercise 1: Showering

Why am I choosing showering? It’s not that boring, is it? Although not boring, applying mindfulness to your daily shower is important. In theory, standing under a warm, gentle flow of water is a pleasant experience. But it’s also the perfect environment for our monkey mind to take control. Think back to your last shower. How many thoughts did you have? My money is on a lot.

For whatever reason, standing in the shower seems to give the green light to a significant number of our daily 70,000 thoughts. If you’re anything like me, when my mind is particularly busy, I’ve caught myself in the midst of shampooing my hair immediately after shampooing my hair. Such mindlessness is costly; American Crew ain’t cheap.

Mindful practice involves paying focused attention to your present experience. That includes all of your senses. In particular while showering, temperature, smell and sound. Your mindful shower may go something like this:

  • Before entering the shower, set your intention by taking a few deep breaths and reminding yourself you are about to shower mindfully.
  • Notice the sensation of the handle as you turn the shower on. What does it feel like? How much resistance is there as you turn it to the desired speed (is that the right term, shower speed? Shower power? Shower strength? Someone help me out?).
  • Again, take a few deep breaths. Pay close attention to the sound of the water falling from the shower head to the base of the shower. Try and notice each audible plop.
  • Stand in the shower. Can you feel the water before you step under the flow. Can you feel the heat emanating from it? Does the air near the flow move slightly?
  • Stand under the water. Focus on the pleasantness of the sensation of water running over your body as you stand still. Scan your body from head to toe, feel the different sensations.
  • As you reach for the shampoo / conditioner / shower gel, notice the weight of the bottle. Notice the sound as you open the bottle. Notice the texture. Then turn your attention to the scent as you breathe deeply.
  • As you wash away the shampoo / conditioner / shower gel, notice the sensation and scent, but also the flow and texture of the foam as it runs down the plug. Bye foam!
  • Celebrate for being mindful. And clean.

Mindful Exercise 2: Washing Dishes

You’ve just enjoyed a lovely meal that you’ve spent time slaving over, and now you’re left with a full stomach, but an empty plate. Time to do the washing up. FFS. Washing the dishes is high up on the monotony stakes. Quick frankly, it’s rare you’ll ever be motivated. The entire process ticks the box of being “something to get over and done with” — but it doesn’t have to be.

Want a quick motivator? Okay. How long do you spend washing up dishes each day? 10 minutes? That’s over an hour a week. Four hours every month. Two days every year. Almost six months of your entire life spent getting over and done with or wanting to be somewhere else. I don’t know about you, but if there’s a way I can spend those six months a little differently, I’ll take it. Well fear not, because now you can replace them with six months of mindfulness. Hurray!

Believe it or not, a recent study revealed that mindful washing up is a great stress reliever. Out of those taking part, those who washed up mindfully had a 25% increase in inspiration and a 27% decrease in anxiety. Much like the mindful shower, to washing dishes mindfully means focusing attentively the senses:

  • Notice the thought that springs to mind as you look at the dirty cutlery (“Ugh, there’s loads, this’ll take a while”). Take a few deep breaths.
  • Instead of seeing this is a mountain to overcome, focus on each item without rushing through. Notice any thought related to time or frustration at how long the process will take.
  • Give all of your attention to the item currently you’re currently holding: How heavy is it? How hard do you have to scrub to remove the stains? Is it smooth? Rough?
  • Notice the scent of the washing up liquid and the formation of the foam.
  • Tune in to the sound of the running water, the unique clunk of each plate as you place it in the drying rack.
  • Notice the temperature of the water.
  • Celebrate being mindful. And having clean dishes.

Mindful Exercise 3: Eating Chocolate

Don’t say I don’t bloody treat you. I know I promised three boring exercises but if you’ve washed the dishes mindfully, it’s time to celebrate by doing something fun in the same manner. Being mindful increases our perception, no more so than the sense of taste, which is greatly enhanced. Yet most of us don’t really take time to eat. Instead, we go on auto pilot, chewing, swallowing, thinking of the next mouthful.

To highlight just how incredible food can taste when attention is fully switch on, try this third and final exercise:

  • Sit down and place the chocolate of your choosing in front of you. I’d choose a Bounty, but I know I’m in the minority.
  • Notice the eagerness to dive straight in. Sit with it and breathe.
  • Carefully peel the wrapper, paying close attention to touch and sound.
  • Then, notice the scent of the chocolate. If you feel another urge to take a bite, slow down and breathe.
  • Take a tiny bite, but don’t chew. Leave the chocolate in your mouth. Notice the physical sensation as it melts.
  • Now focus fully on the taste. Does it taste different than usual? Is there more flavour?
  • Allow the chocolate to melt as much as possible before chewing.
  • Notice the impulse to take another bite immediately. Breathe and wait for two minutes before taking the next bite (this is a lot harder than it sounds).
  • Repeat until the chocolate has gone. Never rush. This whole process should take at least 10 minutes.
  • Celebrate. You’ve just eaten chocolate. Oh, and mindfulness. Yeah! Mindfulness!

If you’ve read these instructions, you may be doubting their credentials. They sound incredibly simple. And yes, I may have over-detailed the instructions, but I really want to emphasise how mindfulness is about breaking down every micro-second of experience, tuning into the senses and fully being.

So try them out. And remember, if you practice this regularly, you can replace all of those “boredom” labels with mindful ones. Now if that’s not an achievement, I don’t know what is.


The Benefits Of Meditation — My Personal Journey

This article is split into two sections on meditation: how it changed my life and its scientific benefits. The first is a deeply personal explanation of my particular experience. I want to start with this because I’m hoping by sharing, it’ll give further insight than the dozens of other articles online that tell you why meditation is beneficial, without the necessary anecdotal explanation in support. After all, it’s useful knowing what studies have discovered, but it can be difficult to relate. If you have a thirst for science, you’ll be catered for; the second section summarises key findings.

Feel free to skip to the science if the thought of reading my personal journey bores you. It’s up to you. I won’t judge. Well, not much. But be warned — you’ll be missing out on the story behind the stats and the sensations and the worldview shifts that bubble behind the physical changes to the grey stuff between my ears. The brain. I’m talking about the brain.

Why I Turned To Meditation

The story has to begin somewhere. Growing up in a working class family in Bristol in the UK, like most Western societies, meditation was about as alien as, well, aliens. Other than one forward-thinking primary school teacher lighting incense and asking the class to sit still and relax (something I only realised was a form of meditation literally seconds ago as this popped into my head), meditation was engulfed by a myriad of false beliefs, all pointing one to a sign that said: Not for me.

I can’t say precisely when my mental health became a serious issue, but I was young. I can pinpoint the age of 15 being the first time anxiety and depression started to take control, although looking back I’d experienced panic attacks even younger. By 15, though, they’d become a regularity. I didn’t know what they were. The panic attacks coincided with an illness which left me bedridden through most of my GCSEs (couldn’t have timed it better), an illness that had symptoms closely resembling anxiety, close enough to obscure the true nature of my suffering at the time.

In truth, it took a number of years for me to understand and accept what I was experiencing was anxiety, a product of the mind. Labelling anxiety or depression purely a mental illness completely minimises the devastating impact it has physically. While the root cause is psychological, the instantaneous physiological response wrecks havoc on the fight or flight system. Such is the seamless link between body and mind, it’s not surprising many sufferers go to great lengths to find a physical cause before realising the issue is psychological. Certain physical illnesses can also instigate anxiety and depression, making this crossover even more confusing.

Once I’d accepted my fate, the process of managing symptoms began. I was around the age of 17 or 18 when I sheepishly ordered my first self-help book online. I’m writing this with a wry smile, looking back now, but such was the stigma and my own sense of shame, I even had a space in my room — out of view — to hide my collection. Forget the porn buddy, at the time I felt I needed a self-help buddy to remove my collection of self-helps books in case of an emergency. After all, no one could discover I was mentally weak. At least that’s how I felt at the time, such is the vicious prison of mental illness and, to a degree, perceived masculinity.

An Uncertain Beginning

While reading and understanding the intricacies of anxiety and depression, my intuition led me to meditation. The benefits were clear to see. Buddhist philosophy peaked my curiosity; everything I read resonated. Plus, reframing suffering as integral to spiritual growth was reassuring. However, my initial interest in meditation wasn’t spiritual. I was an atheist. Buddhism appealed to me because I didn’t see it as a religion, I saw it as a sense of principles that “made sense” as opposed to the restrictive dogma found in Western religions.

Eager to get going, I purchased — and I shit you not — Meditation for Dummies. Unfortunately, I faced a major hurdle. My anxiety was so intrusive at the time, my thoughts so visceral and attention-seeking, my mood so consuming, that I struggled to relate to any of it. Simply sitting with the dense fog of thoughts and feelings felt like a form of punishment, not liberation. So I stopped.

Returning With Direction

In the years that followed I continued to suffer from depression and anxiety and continued to educate myself to find a solution. It wasn’t until I was at university that I had a breakthrough. In an unavoidable plug I wish I was getting paid for — I discovered the Headspace app. This gave direction to my meditation, guided me through in a step-by-step process, and finally made this intimidating beast seem manageable by exposing the fact it was both incredibly simple and extraordinarily complex. I then began meditating daily, and that’s when changes started to happen.

How Meditation Changed My Life

Meditation benefits.
There are many benefits to meditation.

Uhhh, sensationalist subheading alert! I apologise, but it’s true. It did change my life. Perhaps not in the way I was hoping, or in the way you may be hoping it could change your life as you read through this article (don’t fall into the trap of “I’ll be happy when I start meditating”!). But it opened my eyes to the true reality of things, provided genuine insight into my inner-world and helped me witness how that inner-world shaped my outer-world, too. Crucially, it didn’t get rid of unwanted emotions. It got rid of my need to get rid of them.

And the most peculiar thing? The biggest benefit of meditation is that — when complemented with spiritual reading — it transformed me from an atheist to a “spiritual person,” the kind who talks of eternal love and God and consciousness and transcending time and The Now. The kind I’d raise my eyebrows at, the kind I never thought I’d be. Ultimately, it revealed to me that we’re not what we think (tagline plug alert, uhhhh!).

I appreciate for those completely new to meditation, you may need a bit of time before jumping headfirst into the vast ocean of consciousness and eternal bliss (I’ll stop with the metaphors now) you may be thinking: what are the benefits of meditation that I can relate to? You asked for it, so here it goes:

1. It helped me to understand anxiety and depression.

Meditating on thoughts and feeling associated with anxiety and depression helped me to break down the mental concept of what “anxiety” and “depression” is. Rather than seeing both as some kind of life-sucking Demogorgon, I began to observe the individual components of them. Instead of one label encompassing all the unpleasantness, I saw the physical symptoms, the emotions, the chains of interlinked thoughts, the erroneous beliefs. All of this while I simply sat and focused on my breath.

By shining awareness on the true nature of “anxiety” and “depression,” it helped me stop seeing the way I was feeling as anxiety and depression. To be clearer — I stopped identifying with it. It wasn’t “my” depression, or “my” anxiety. In moments away from meditation when these symptoms were present, I began to note: “Ah, I’m experiencing a wave of anxiety in my chest, my heart rate has increased, I’m thinking x, y, z.” As soon as become a detached observer of the symptoms and the thoughts, you stop resisting.

This is key: resistance to negative thoughts and emotions gives them power. Accepting them reduces their power and they lose their hold on you. This is also key: meditating doesn’t mean those thoughts and emotions disappear. Instead, you avoid resisting and fighting against them.

2. Meditation reduced the frequency of “my” panic attacks.

Nothing screams resistance like a panic attack. For those of you unfortunate enough to have experienced a panic attack, you’ll know what I mean. For those who haven’t, they’re often described as the sensation of losing your mind, losing control or feeling like you’re about to die. It really is that grim. The imploding, explosive wave of sinister energy that motors its way through the body, the sensation of not being able to breathe, the palpable, grotesque sense of danger… Panic attacks aren’t fun, and a lot of sufferers, myself included, feel anxious at the prospect of an anxiety attack. It’s the cruellest catch-22 of anxiety.

Meditation helped though, in particular the focus of present awareness. At their core, panic attacks are linked to a need to “escape.” In the moment of panic, the sufferer doesn’t want to be where they are, they want to escape to safety, mentally or physically. The “attack” is a strong resistance to the present moment, whether situational or emotional. By habitually sitting with the breath, I became more in tune with my mind’s tendency to mentally attempt to escape when faced with troubling emotions. This is important because we can never escape the present, it’s all there is and all there ever will be.

When I experienced the onset of panic away from the time spent meditating — as with step one — I noted the physical properties, focused on my breath, and stopped resisting. Doing so drastically reduced their impact. I still get waves, now and again. But when I do, it’s less “OH SHIT THIS IS HAPPENING” and more “ah, I’m experiencing a strong wave of anxiety, my heart’s racing, but everything will be okay.” Again, I can’t emphasise enough, when it comes to anxiety resistance really is futile.

3. It helped me embrace sadness.

There is no such thing as a “bad emotion” or a “good emotion” — there are only emotions. But most of us label emotions as positive or negative. Looking back, I feel that my own emotional perfectionism exacerbated my suffering. I ran away from negative emotions. Sadness, unlike irrational anxiety, is a valuable and healthy emotion, one I was fleeing from. I mentioned masculinity above. Well, “boys don’t cry.” Men are encouraged to be stoic, to be strong. Anxiety by no means is exclusive to males, but I feel social conditioning makes men more inclined to resist such emotion. No wonder I was running away from sadness. Life is rich, it’s full of ups and downs, joy and suffering. Resisting half of the equation, the sad side of life, is resisting life itself.

Meditation helped me to sit with sadness, examine it, appreciate it. Sadness is a useful tool. It comes in many forms, and you can learn from any of them. It’s important to note, in spiritual terms, the deepest sense of compassion and love comes with a sense of tenderness, of sadness. We live in a society that likes to emphasise happiness. No one likes a grump, after all. But this isn’t healthy. Embracing sadness and the whole emotional spectrum with the same respect is one of the key processes of spiritual growth.

How do I embrace sadness? As mentioned above, I respect and “sit” with it. From my own personal experience, I believe that some forms of depression are due to consistent resistance to sadness, resulting in an “energy block” of that emotion. Consequently, when I feel sad, I let the sadness come to the surface in a process that is both humbling and cathartic. You can try and run from your emotions, but they’ll always catch up with you.

4. It helped me embrace death.

Did you just read the word death and recoil, even slightly? The odds are you did. In the West we have an odd relationship with death. Odd in the sense that we rarely talk about it, instead choosing to ignore it until it confronts us and catches us off guard. But we all die. All our loved ones will die. And not talking about that won’t make that prospect any less scary.

A big part of meditation is understanding the impermanence of the present moment. There’s no greater illustration of impermanence than death. Personally, a lot of my anxiety was a symptom of my resistance to accept death. By that, I mean on a deep, subconscious level, I wasn’t willing to fully embrace that fact we die, and it caused me to fear the future because, guess what, the future is guaranteed to contain death. I suspect my resistance was triggered by a string of deaths of loved ones I experienced over a short space of time, and the unresolved grief arising from my lack of acceptance.

There are lots of theories on how the fear of death trickles down into everyday fears. But for this article, it’s important to note that a big benefit of meditation was alleviating my fear of death. I worked on my relationship with life and the belief systems and attachments to it. My perspective changed and death became the key component responsible for injecting life with its ephemeral beauty.

Scientific Benefits Of Meditation

This is an area I will eventually explore in greater detail. For now it’s worth noting a few key studies to illustrate that my experiences have a grounding in science. Meditation causes measurable changes to the brain. There’s a whole wealth of benefits to meditation, but some studies that stand out for me personally include:

  • Electrical brain waves are different during meditation than they are when we’re awake or asleep. This is deeply significant. The study by The Norwegian University of Science and Technology discovered that our brains are in a different state when meditating, a state that is neither awake or asleep. As well as being a key tool in accessing this state, does this prove meditation is a natural process our ancestors would practice?
  • Meditation reduces the tendency to ruminate thoughts in those who suffer from depression.
  • Meditation changes the physical structure of the brain. A study revealed those who have been meditating over a long period of time had more grey matter in the obrito-frontal and hippocampal cortex of the brain. Curiously, these areas deal with emotional regulation and response control. My “Been There, Meditated, Increased My Obrito-Frontal And Hippocampal Cortex” T-shirts will be available to order soon.
  • Meditation has been proven to be effective in reducing stress and anxiety.
  • And it even increases immune function.

Well This Is All Fantastic, How Do I Start?

As mentioned above, I highly recommend trying the Headspace app to start experiencing the benefits of meditation. It’s a guided mindfulness meditation that can steer you through the basics. However, if you want to get started without downloading an app, the process is simple. If you want to go alone, follow the below instructions or play the guided video.

  1. Sit in a comfortable position, upright and alert. Using a chair is fine, but make sure your back is supported.
  2. Take a few deep breaths. In through the nose, out through the mouth.
  3. After a few minutes, close your eyes. Focus on the sensations of your body; the feeling of your feet on the floor, your hands in your lap, your legs on the chair beneath you.
  4. Next, pay attention briefly to the sounds surrounding you. Don’t judge them, just observe.
  5. Bring your attention to your body. From head to toe, mentally “scan” your body. Notice the sensations and emotions within you.
  6. Turn your attention to your breath. Each in breath. Each out breath.
  7. Whenever you become distracted by thought, return to the breath. Note that the moment you notice distraction is the moment you become “aware.”
  8. When you are ready, stop focusing on the breath and give yourself some time to let the mind be completely free. No focus. No attention.
  9. Then return your attention to your body. The feeling of your feet on the floor, hands in your lap, etc. Notice sounds and smells around you.
  10. Open your eyes.
  11. Smile (optional).

It seems incredibly simple, and it is. I will eventually give more instruction and guidance on meditation. But for now, I hope my story has helped to inspire you to try and experience the benefits of meditation for yourself. I don’t want to mislead, however. This is an article focusing on the benefits of meditation. There has been, and will continue to be, frustration and mishaps along the way in my journey. There are days where I feel completely out of touch. Disenchanted. Lost. Days of clarity are followed by days of confusion. But it’s all part of the learning curve, and every bend and bump along that curve gives an opportunity to learn.

One last thing — good luck!

I’m keen to hear your experience of meditation, share all in the comments. If you have any questions about my experience, ask below.