
The post is part of the series: The Four Horsemen of Spiritual Ego.
“I know it’s not spiritual,” I say to Sanya, “but I’m really angry.” Minutes before, I’d had a confrontation with someone who stepped in front of my car on a quiet road, telling me I should have given him more room. I lost my cool. After a week’s retreat away from the hustle and bustle, this was my venture back into city-living. “There’s no need to step in front of the car,” I said, “I could’ve hit you.” We exchanged heated words, my body flushed with adrenaline.
Hours after, the incident replayed over and over. I oscillated between justifying, reasoning, and self-minimising. What I’d done wasn’t awful, it was mild, no one was harmed, we both had our reasons and our shortcomings in the exchange. But in my mind’s eye, spiritually evolved people don’t get angry, or if they do, they take a few deep breaths, articulate how they’re feeling, and don’t act from that anger. The sense of failure added to my shame.